Help Is Available – Pure and Simple Ministry

Need Help?

If you are a man or woman who is living with some habit of sexual sin or you are married to someone who struggles with sexual impurity or infidelity you have come to the right place! In spite of perceived hopelessness there is always abundant hope in God. The Bible promises us that we can find freedom.

Confirming One’s Calling and Election
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
II Peter 1:3

Recommended First Steps

Where do you start? The Pure and Simple Ministry is focused on serving those who desire to be free from sexual sin and to provide healing for all those who have been affected. We have a few recommended steps.

Self-Reflection

Take some time for self-reflection. Below are some questions that can help you understand where you are at to help you determine whether you are dealing with purity or perhaps codependency.

Connect with Someone Who Has Found Victory

For most of us if we could have solved the problem on our own we would have. Reaching out to someone was the last option in our minds but when we did we found a world of hope, love and solutions. Please consider contacting someone. Click here for a list of people from around the country who have found some measure of victory through the Pure and Simple ministry.

Create a Recovery Plan

Below you’ll find a sample recovery plan that you can use or modify for your own situation. Thousands have broken the cycle of sexual sin and co-dependency when they’ve pursued a spiritually based plan of guidance and accountability.

These are the basics fundamentals to start practicing if you want to overcome. We have found that the only way to get free from sexual sin is to give everything you have to the daily recovery process.

Please contact us to learn more about finding true freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors.

Self-Reflection Questions

Take some time for self-reflection. Below are some questions that can help you to understand where you are. They will guide you to recognize whether you are dealing with some type of sexual addiction or perhaps a problem with codependency. If you answer yes to any of these questions you may want to ask for help.

Sexual Purity Self-Evaluation (Men)

Do you feel shame about your sexual behavior?
Do you promise to change your sexual behavior but fail to keep those promises?
Do you fantasize about sex where you get stimulated during the course of your day?
a) Daily b) Weekly c) Monthly d) Never
Do you look at pornography?
a) Daily b) Weekly c) Monthly d) Never
Do you act out sexually in the form of masturbation?
a) Daily b) Weekly c) Monthly d) Never
Do you engage in sex with someone else that you feel ashamed of?
a) Daily b) Weekly c) Monthly d) Never
Do you feel you are caught in some type of cycle where you cannot break free?
a) Yes b) No c) You’re not sure

Sexual Purity Self-Evaluation (Women)

Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual behavior or thinking?
Have you tried to stop or limit what you felt was wrong in your sexual or relationship behavior?
Do you use sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or as a coping mechanism?
Do you keep going from one relationship to another?
Do you feel the right person (marriage) would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?
Have you experienced negative consequences as a result of your sexual or relational behavior?
Does the pursuit of sex or a relationship make you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others?
Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

Codependency Self-evaluation

Codependency is habitual behaviors that are ultimately self-destructive. Almost everyone (at times) has symptoms of codependency. The following are a list of codependent symptoms:

I tend to assume responsibility for others’ feelings and/or behavior.
I have difficulty in identifying my feelings-happy, angry, scared, sad or excited.
I tend to fear or worry how others may respond to my feelings or behavior.
I have difficulty in forming of maintaining close relationships.
I am afraid of rejection
I have difficulty making decisions.
I tend to be reactive to others rather than to act on my own.
My feelings of worth come from outside myself, through the opinions of other people or from activities that seem to validate my worth.
I have emotional crises and chaos in my life.
I tend to find relationships in which I feel “needed” and attempt to keep it that way.

Sample Recovery Plan

Personally embracing a recovery plan is a key step to Godly purity. Here are elements of a recovery plan you should consider as you prepare your own plan of recovery.

Daily Recovery Work

Do daily recovery work – this means read something about sexual purity daily. This could be scriptures from the Bible, “Way of Purity” or “Living Pure.” Also ask God for help daily in prayer to stay pure. He won’t take all the temptation away but rather he will start to strengthen you.

Check In Daily

Set Boundaries

Set Boundaries – Boundaries are lines that we choose to draw for ourselves, at a determined point in our lives where if we were to continue, we make ourselves highly susceptible to relapse. Each person has unique boundaries to their own lives, depending on their own weaknesses. These boundary lines may exclude certain people, places, entertainment, emotions and thoughts. They are essential to recovery from addiction.

Find a Group

Find and attend a group – We have many churches with solid biblically based purity and codependency groups. We also have many without groups. If you live in an area without a purity or codependency group within your church, you have a couple options:

Consider starting your own group.
Check out sexaholics anonymous in your area. Though they are not biblically based, the camaraderie will be present. We have always been a ministry that believes we do not know it all but rather we can learn from anyone.

Just start working through the above plan with a mentor or partner. Give God something to work with and he will lead you to victory. He is the miracle—not our ministry.

My wife and I attended the “Pure and Simple” conference for the first time last November in Chicago. Serving as an elder of the New York City Church of Christ, I encountered not a few brothers who want to be pure before God and be triumphant in their battle in the area. My first Pure and Simple Conference was a gathering of about 220 disciples from all over the States. I wondered without this kind of helping tools and supporting groups, where would they be spiritually. My heart was filled with tremendous gratitude for the people who organized the conference as well as the people who were their fighting their good fight.

I know that not everyone who wanted to be there was at the conference. I received hope that we are still fighting the war, which God desires for us to fight and each participant there became my hero instantly with every brother and sister striving for their purity in their places. From that time on, I put aside first week of November each year for this conference. It is definitely one to check for our spirituality. Glory be to our God of HOPE!!!

Sean & Naomi HanLos Angeles, California